If you have grandchildren who live more than a few hours away, or adult children who have moved across the country, or a sibling in another state, or close friends scattered around the world, video calling is one of the most powerful technologies available to you. A single 20-minute video call lets you see faces, hear voices, watch grandchildren play, and feel present with people you cannot easily visit. The connection is dramatically deeper than a phone call alone, and the technology has gotten remarkably good and remarkably free in the last decade.
The problem is that video calling has a reputation for being frustrating, especially among older users. The phone rings or beeps in a strange way. Someone cannot hear someone else. The video freezes. The audio echoes. The connection drops. The grandchild gives up after five minutes and goes back to playing, and the call ends with everyone feeling worse rather than better. These problems are real, and they are also almost entirely solvable with a small amount of upfront setup and a few habits.
The rest of this article walks through how to pick the right video calling service for your family, how to set it up properly, and the simple practices that turn frustrating calls into easy ones. None of it is hard, but most of it is also not obvious before someone tells you, and the difference between doing it right and doing it wrong is the difference between weekly calls that you look forward to and occasional calls that you dread.
There are dozens of video calling apps available, but for most older adults, the choice comes down to three. Pick the one that matches your family's situation.
FaceTime. Apple's built-in video calling service. Free, very high quality, extremely easy to use, and requires no separate app — it is built into the Phone app on every iPhone, iPad, and Mac. The catch is that FaceTime only works between Apple devices. If everyone in your family has an iPhone, FaceTime is the easiest option by a wide margin. If even one important family member uses an Android phone, FaceTime will not work for them and you need a different service. (Note: as of recent updates, you can technically share a FaceTime link with a non-Apple user who can join through a web browser, but the experience is awkward and not recommended for regular use.)
Zoom. The most universal video calling service, and probably the one you should use if your family has a mix of devices. Zoom works on iPhone, Android, Mac, Windows, iPad, and through a web browser. The free tier allows unlimited one-on-one calls and group calls of up to 100 people for up to 40 minutes per call. For longer group calls, Zoom Pro is $15/month, but most families do not need this. Zoom has the most polished interface for group calls and the best screen sharing, which makes it ideal for multi-generational family calls where you might have several people on the call at once.
WhatsApp. The most popular messaging and calling app in the world outside the United States, and the right choice for families with international members. WhatsApp video calls work on iPhone and Android, are free, and use very little data (which matters for relatives in countries where mobile data is expensive). If you have family in Europe, Latin America, India, or most other parts of the world, WhatsApp is probably what they already use, and adopting it is the easiest way to call them.
For most American families with all-Apple devices, FaceTime is the right choice. For families with mixed devices, Zoom is the right choice. For families with international relatives, WhatsApp is the right choice. You may end up using more than one — Zoom for the weekly family group call and FaceTime for a quick one-on-one with a grandchild — and that is fine.
You do not need any special equipment to make video calls. Your existing iPhone, Android phone, iPad, computer, or tablet already has a camera and microphone built in, and that is all you need. The free apps work fine with built-in equipment.
If you want a slightly nicer experience, there are a few small upgrades that can help. A small inexpensive ring light ($15-30) makes a big difference if you are calling from a dark room — your face will look much clearer to the person on the other end, and they will see your expressions much better. A simple phone or tablet stand ($10-20) lets you set the device on a table during the call, so you do not have to hold it up. Holding the phone for a 30-minute call gets tiring and produces shaky video; setting it on a stand is dramatically more comfortable and looks better.
If you make many calls from your computer instead of your phone, an external webcam ($30-60) is much better than the built-in webcam on most older laptops. The Logitech C920 is the most-recommended budget webcam and produces noticeably better video than the cameras built into most computers from before 2020. But this is optional — if you mostly call from your phone, the built-in camera is more than good enough.
If you have an iPhone, FaceTime is already set up. To make a call: open the Phone app, tap Contacts, find the person you want to call, and tap the FaceTime button next to their name. The call will start. That is essentially all there is to it.
To make sure FaceTime is working, go to Settings, then FaceTime, and verify that it is turned on and that your Apple ID is signed in. Make sure your phone number and email address are listed as places people can reach you on FaceTime. This takes about five minutes the first time and never needs to be done again.
FaceTime works best when both devices are on WiFi rather than cellular data. WiFi calls have higher quality and use no cellular data. If your home WiFi signal is weak in the room where you make calls, consider moving closer to the router or upgrading your router for better coverage.
Zoom takes a few more steps to set up, but the process is straightforward. Go to zoom.us (or download the Zoom app on your phone or computer), click Sign Up Free, and create an account with your email address. Verify your email when Zoom sends you a verification message. That is the basic setup.
To start a call: open the Zoom app, sign in, and tap 'New Meeting.' This starts a video call immediately, and you can invite people by sharing the meeting link with them through text, email, or any messaging app. The link looks like 'zoom.us/j/12345' and works on any device with Zoom installed (or in any web browser).
To schedule a call for later: tap 'Schedule' instead of 'New Meeting,' pick the date and time, and Zoom will give you a calendar invitation you can send to participants. Family members get an email with the meeting link and a reminder before the call.
The most important Zoom setting to know about: in the meeting settings, make sure 'Use Personal Meeting ID' is OFF for most calls. The Personal Meeting ID is a permanent number that anyone can use to join your calls forever, which can be a security concern. Use the random meeting IDs that Zoom generates for each new call instead. This is a one-time setting and protects you from unwanted callers.
WhatsApp setup is simple. Download the WhatsApp app from the App Store (iPhone) or Google Play Store (Android). Open the app and follow the prompts to verify your phone number — WhatsApp will send you a code by text message that you type into the app. After verification, the app will ask permission to access your contacts, and once you grant it, you will see which of your existing contacts already use WhatsApp.
To make a video call: open WhatsApp, tap the Chats tab, find the person you want to call, tap their name to open the chat, and tap the video camera icon at the top of the screen. The call will start.
WhatsApp works on both iPhone and Android, and both ends of the call must have the app installed. The app is free, the calls are free regardless of where the other person is in the world, and the quality is generally very good. WhatsApp also has a desktop version (whatsapp.com/download) that lets you use the same account on your computer, which is convenient for longer calls.
One thing to know about WhatsApp: it is owned by Meta (the parent company of Facebook and Instagram), and the data privacy practices are not as strong as some alternatives. For most personal family calls this does not matter much, but if you are extremely privacy-conscious, Signal (signal.org) is a more privacy-focused alternative that works similarly to WhatsApp.
Once your service is set up, a few simple habits make the difference between calls that work effortlessly and calls that turn into frustration.
Habit one: test before the actual call. The first time you use any video calling service, do a test call with a family member when nothing important is on the line. The test call lets you find any setup problems (audio not working, camera in the wrong direction, app permissions not granted) without ruining a real conversation. After one or two test calls, the setup is sorted and future calls work the first time.
Habit two: use good lighting. The single most common video call mistake is sitting with a window or bright light behind you, which makes your face look like a dark silhouette to the person on the other end. The fix is to face a window or a lamp instead of having it behind you. If you are calling from a dim room at night, turn on more lights in the room or use a small ring light. Good lighting on your face is the single biggest improvement to how you look on a video call.
Habit three: stabilize the device. Holding the phone in your hand during a long call produces shaky video and tired arms. Set the phone or tablet on a stand, on a table, propped against a book — anything that keeps it stable and at roughly eye level. The improvement in the quality of the video and the comfort of the call is dramatic.
Habit four: use headphones if there is echo. If you and the person on the other end are getting echo or audio feedback, the easiest fix is for one of you to wear headphones (or earbuds) with a microphone. Wired or wireless both work, and the echo problem usually disappears completely.
Habit five: keep the calls short and frequent. Long video calls are exhausting and tend to lose focus quickly, especially with grandchildren. A 15-20 minute call once or twice a week is usually much more rewarding than an hour-long call once a month. The frequency is what builds the connection, not the length of any single call.
Even with good setup, video calls sometimes have problems. Here are the most common issues and the quick fixes.
No audio: check that the microphone permission is granted to the app (Settings, Privacy, Microphone on iPhone; Settings, Apps, Permissions on Android). Also check that the device's volume is turned up and that the mute button in the app is not enabled.
No video: check that the camera permission is granted to the app. Make sure the camera lens is not blocked by your finger or a phone case. Tap the camera icon in the app to confirm it is on.
Frozen video or choppy audio: this is almost always a network problem. Move closer to your WiFi router. Restart your WiFi router. If you are on cellular data and it keeps freezing, try connecting to WiFi instead. If the problem persists, the issue is on the other end (their network, not yours), and they should try the same fixes.
Echo: one of you should wear headphones. The echo is usually caused by the microphone picking up the speaker's audio and sending it back to the other end.
Cannot find the person in your contacts: make sure you have their phone number or Apple ID saved in your contacts (for FaceTime), or that you are using the right username/email (for Zoom), or that they are in your phone contacts and using WhatsApp (for WhatsApp). The contact has to exist in the right form for the app to find them.
If something keeps going wrong and you cannot figure out why, ask a younger family member to help you set up a test call. Often the problem is a simple permission setting that is hard to find on your own and obvious to someone who has used the service before. After the one-time fix, future calls work smoothly.